they need to just BURY HIM!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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