So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
