I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
