I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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