I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
