tell your sister to shave her snatch
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
