if i died would you start the facebook group?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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