if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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