I hate all girls vehemently.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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