I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
