the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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