So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
