I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
