I'm drive I can fine osifer
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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