a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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