We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
