Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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