i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
