I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
