If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
