So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
