so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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