Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
