he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
