Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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