I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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