She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
