I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
