I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
