I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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