hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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