Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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