Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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