and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
