If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
If I die, sorry about rent.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
