If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
