Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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