i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
