What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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