Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
