But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
