he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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