That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think I won the penis lottery.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
