it's not cheating when I paid for it
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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