She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Panties = found
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
