Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
