I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize