Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
