So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
