Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
