please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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