Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
